So many thoughts,
I don't know where to begin,
I'll start from my heart,
and what I feel within.

I still have feelings,
which haven't changed,
because when you left me
my life was re-arranged.

I used to cry
so many times a day,
but lately those tears
have been fading away.

I am hoping that
my brighter day soon will come,
and maybe, just maybe,
I'll find that special someone.

Yes, it's been hard,
but I'm getting back my life,
I've even managed
to put away the knife.

I will find someone
who's right for me,
who loves me
and lets me be all I can be.

Yet the thought of you and her,
is tearing me apart,
because you will always have a special place
in my broken heart.

Do I still love you?
Yes, I do,
but another part of me
is getting over you.

I never thought I would say this,
but I simply have to confess,
with each and every day that goes by,
I love you less and less.

I just wanted to be with you,
but now you're gone,
and the time has come
for me to move on.

You meant so much to me,
in fact, you still do,
from the bottom of my heart,
I loved you too.

Now that you're gone,
It's too dark at night.
It's constantly cold.
And nothing seems right.

Now that you're gone
It hurts to be alone.
I can't stand it here without you
Afraid and on my own.

Now that you're gone
My world means naught,
I'm sorry for what I said,
And all the times we fought.

Now that you're gone,
I can't seem to find my smile.
I didn't think I'd lose it yet,
At least not for a while

Now that you're gone,
I can't help but yearn
For the love that we had
And the day that you'll return

Now that you're gone
And have left me behind
I'm loosing my focus
And have already lost my mind.

Now that you're gone
Nothing else will matter
Each day I'm without you
My heart won't cease to shatter

Now that you're gone
All it does is rain,
The heavens seems to weep,
As if they feel my pain.

Now that you're gone
I just want to cry,
Because I curse that night you left,
When we had to say good-bye.

Now that you're gone
I only want one wish,
For you to come back
And give me just one kiss

You're changing right before my eyes
Am I to believe that the promises were lies?
But the old you would have never lied
Taking care and always be near by

I miss the boy who seemed so strange
No matter what people said, I knew you wouldn't change
Now when I see you, It's a stranger who I see
Those once compassionate eyes just stare empty at me

They say you got commitment, I guess that it's true
But you should never have changed, I miss the old you
The old you care the reason why i cried
And you would do anything just to make me smile

I guess I just miss who you were back then
It wasn't that long ago, I know you remember when
When you told me you love me,and you know it's real
and you weren't afraid to confess exactly how you feel

They say when things change, new things come too
But this isn't right, I need the old you
I know he's still there somewhere inside
Please come out, you dont have to hide

I hid for so long, I played it tough
I missed you so so much, forever not enough
But now that I can't, after you walked away
And I miss the old you, who for sure would have stayed...

All I can taste is salt
All I can feel is wet
All I can hear are whimpers
All I can do is cry.

My tongue is stick to the top of my mouth
My lips are sealed
My eyes are heavy and swollen
My ears are burning
My skin is cold

I put on a smile day to day
I laugh when I need to laugh
I jump for joy and be what I was
Before it turned into an act
I can't show how I feel,
I don't know how.
You can't even see it in my eyes
I hide it to well.

My days are mixed up
My hours are long and short.
I can't sleep, can't breath, can't eat
My heart feels like it shredded
I forget what I'm doing
I'm always in my own world.
You ask what I'm thinking,
Truth is, nothing, blank.

I come up with dumb excuses
I lie so well now, I try to believe it.
Emotionally, I'm a fake

Here's a little story
Of what I feel for you
The feelings in my heart
To my soul what you do

The love you have for me
Feels invigorating to me
Is it any surprise
Why with you I love to be

When I look into your eyes
I see all the things you are
Kind, compassionate, inspiring
All the things I loved from afar

When you say you love me
You touch me in a way
A soothing feeling in my heart
Your sweet words make my day

When you hold me in your embrace
I want to hold on so tight
It feels so good to me
Even if its not at all right

I can not help what I feel
My feelings so very strong
And when you're not around
For you I desperately long

At times I gaze at you
Reminiscing special times shared
And sometimes I wonder
Should I have not dared

But I know in my heart
That I'm deeply in love
Just as long as you know
You, I'm always thinking of

You are always on my mind
All throughout the day
From the moment I awake
Until the sun goes away

And when I go to bed
I'm still thinking of you
You dominate my thoughts
As I dream of you too

So, know you're in my heart
And in all that I do
For you are my everything
And I very much love you.

She cries every night
Holding her pillow tight
She let her tears flow
Touching her face so slow

I can hear her voice crying
While in her bed she was lying
Its time to let go but she keeps on trying
Taking for granted, her heart is dying

I was looking at her all the time
Loving her for a lifetime
She just don't care how I'm real
I did my best to make her feel

But it seems her heart's frozen
The pain she feels makes her broken
She ignores me and didn't care
Even I'm there giving all my care

Every time she cries, I feel I am dying
Her tears make me too crying
I want to embraced her in my arms
To kiss her and make her warm

I wish I can take her worries away
Stay by her side all the way
I wish I can take away all the pain
And save her life in vain

If only I can be her hero
I will save her life in sorrow
If only she belives i'm here in her core
She will never be hurt anymore

I hate to see her crying
It makes me dying
Every pain she feels, I feel
Tearing up my heart she will

If only she knew i'm here for her a long time
She will not cry anymore and she'll be fine
When she cries, she never stops
It makes my heart pops

She was holding on to the love was not meant to be
Closed her eyes and refused to see
Pretending she was so strong
Even she know it was all wrong

I can't stand you anymore, give up I said
I hope you understand what I try to said
Please stop all your cry, it hurts me too
Believe in me and together we'll go through

These are words i want her to see
Each time she stands right in front of me
So someday she can smile when I stare at her
Right here from the inside of this mirror..

Looking back on everything,
She still remember his smile.
She wish things didn't end so soon,
And turn back time for awhile.

No matter how much it hurts,
She still love him so.
A part of her needs him so much,
Can't seem to let him go.

Knowing she won't be able to see him,
Makes her heart cry out in pain.
Knowing that this is the end,
The thought makes she turns insane.

He was one of her reason for standing up,
For the smile you see on her face.
Going a single day without him,
Makes she feels so out of place.

She was afraid of opening up,
Now she's afraid of the next day.
Whenever she'll see him one last time,
She's terrified of what he may say.

She knows tomorrow will hurt,
But the tears will fade away.
Life is too short for regrets,
There will be a brighter day.

But when she sees him one last time,
She won't know what to do...
When he tells her that last goodbye,
She'll whisper,"I already miss you..

She goes to school with a smile on her face,
Seem so together, seem so in place,
Walk, talk  and laugh with all of her friends,
Nobody could guess that it's just all pretend,

The bell rings so she gets to class,
She laughs and talks as the hours pass,
Before she knows it, it's time to go home,
Pretty soon she can be all alone,

They ask how school was, she says " just fine!
But there's loads of homework the teacher assigned "
As she reach her home, she walks upstairs,
Think to herself... She's almost there,

She gets to her room and she locks her door,
Now she doesn't have to pretend anymore,
She grabs her pillow and begin to bawl,
Shaking and crying as all the tears fall,

They can't see that she's not okay,
She lays there and cry for the rest of the day,
Squeezing her pillow and falling apart,
Feeling such pain inside of her heart,

And she cry and cry till she falls asleep,
It's one of those secrets she's forced to keep,
But tomorrow she'll act fine like she does everyday,
Cause only her pillow knows she's not okay..

This poem is about the views of two different people, in two different diaries..   =)

******************************************************************************************

Dear Diary,

It's me once again,
And I'm just writing to say,
That he just walked by again,
But he didn't glance my way,

It's just like he's forgotten,
Just what we used to be,
He doesn't even care at all,
But he means so much to me,


Dear Diary,

It's me saying hi
And I'm just writing to say,
That she walked on by,
Without looking at my way,

I miss her so much that it hurts,
But of course she doesn't see,
That she'll always mean the world,
And she's everything to me,

************************************************

Dear Diary,

Today he was with her,
And I tried hard not to cry,
But I couldn't help the tears ,
As they were falling from my eyes,

I turned and walked away,
So my feelings wouldn't show,
But the truth is, I love him all the way,
More than he will ever know,


Dear Diary,

I saw her again today,
When I was walking with a friend,
I faked a smile when she walked by,
But it's so hard to pretend,

I wonder if she'll ever know,
She's always on my mind,
I wonder if she loves me so,
Or if she's just left me behind ,

*************************************************

Dear Diary,

I can't stand any longer,
For him to be mine,
That I'll be with him forever,
And I'll love him for all time ,


Dear Diary,

I'll confesse to her today,
That she's everything to me,
I just hate to stay this way,
And with her I want to be,

*************************************************

Dear Diary,

I'm sorry that it took so long,
But I'm writing just to say,
Once again to me he belongs,
Till the end our love will stay,


Dear Diary,

Now she's mine again,
Sharing pain and laughter,
As my lover she'll remain,
My angel ever after..

************************************************

Why do I still have this desire,
To be close to you and admire,
Each and everything about you,
Is still like fresh morning dew.

Why do I still have this emotion,
To care for you with love and affection,
Tomorrow's rising sun will bring a new day,
Hopefully you will go away in a different way.

Why do I still have this fantasy,
That brings a feeling of ecstasy,
Life without you is one big question mark,
The path ahead of me seems dark.

Why do I still have this confusion,
As being with you just an illusion,
Would there be a day when you really care,
Cause now I found only tears everywhere.

Why do I still have to feel this pain,
Is it only for today or forever it remain,
Why this feeling can't fade away with time,
When loving you with all my heart is a crime..

Dear My Little Heart,

What happen to you, why are you crying so deep inside,
Why do you think his love is true even after he lied,
Please get out from that grave and let me live again,
Drowning in these rain of tears makes me insane.

There is so much still left, why do you hold me back,
Let me see the sunshine,don't turn my world black,
Come along with me,and please let him go,
I'm here alone,and you are the only one I know.


Dear My Tiny Heart,

Don't always keep looking at the door that is already shut,
The pain is too much for me and I'm turning nut,
Let us forget things happened till now and move ahead,
Take him out of your inside and I'll erase him from my head.

You can't live without him but I can't live without you,
I know I shouldn't have asked you to let him go through,
He brokes you into so many pieces that I can't count,
I'm sorry cause I thought he's my angle I found,


Dear My Tiny Little Heart,

Everyday you wake me up  with a tear in my eyes,
Stop bringing him back into my dreams, I need no more cry,
He's gone,and there is no point in fighting against fate,
Someday he'll realize our love but its maybe too late.

Life has been harsh to both of us and no one can deny this,
Till we live,he will be the one we still miss,
But everything has a flip side  and it is so true,
So do love, not only about happiness but full of pain too..

Now I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a guy who'll love me deep,

With sparkling eyes and silky hair,
Who knows my faults and doesn't care,

Who will look after me and put on a smile,
Who will take my word with out a trial,

The kind of guy who's wild but sweet,
Who's heart and mind can never be beat,

Who knows what he wants and how to ask,
No games, no lies, or truth covering masks,

Who loves to have fun and isn't a tease,
And a single call puts his mind at ease,

Who can look into my eyes and know that it's true,
When I hold him tight and say I love you,

Who can touch my face and know how I feel,
Who doesn't take advantage and love me for real,

Who can stand up tall on his own two feet,
But can still dance with me in the middle of the street,

Who will let me cry when i'm in pain,
But he wash it all away with a kiss in the rain,

Who lets me do what i want to,
Someone who just wants me not expecting I do,

Who knows I belong to him and knows that he's mine,
Who loves to be silly and have a good time,

Who holds his breath when I kiss him slow,
And not feeling scared if our love being shown,

Who thinks just living is the greatest thrill,
And knows that I love him and always will,

Now I lay me down to sleep ,
I promise to love him and thats a promise I'll keep,

If you grant my prayer he'll be my precious pearl,
Thank you my God, good night from this girl..

I'm not hiding behind my shadow,
Thats the real me if you want to know,
You ask me why did i do so,
Well I don't know, It just what i want to show,

People said I'm being irrational,
Follow my heart, too emotional,
Doing something as to give a signal,
But no! I am professional,

They ask me why did i hurt myself,
Why i pretend to be blind and deaf,
Why keep chasing though being left,
Hmm.. maybe I'm just an elf!

Ok. Actually thats not what i mean,
You really believe i am that mean?
I just want this to be clear and clean,
Hope there's no more confusion between,

I'm doing it because i just want to,
Honestly this is the true,
There's nothing for me to hide from you,
I always know who you belong to,

Am I look stupid for what that i do?
Interfere between you like giving a clue,
But for me it shows that I'm stronger than you,
For not being scared to face the truth,

I am just happy for what that i did,
It doesn't hurt me a tiny bit,
It became something i can be proud with,
A proof that now I'm taking my flit

So don't worry I'm so okay,
Don't have to repeat what you want to say,
It something i can think of to do that day,
There's nothing to do with any sign of betray,

But sorry if it makes up problems,
Its something that i didn't do seldom,
Its just a way to rid off my lonesome,
I'm sorry again if it is too troublesome,

I promise then not doing it again,
If what i did almost broke your chain,
For that thing you want I'll refrain,
Just let in my heart this feeling remains..

16 reasons why i love you..

16.     I love you
           I love how you love me too

15.      I love the way you stare at me
           And how it makes me want to flee

14.     I love the way you smile
          And how you hold me for a while

13.     I love hearing your voice
          When you give me the choice

12.    I love your dark black eyes
          It just looks really nice

11.     I love when you whisper at me
           Who can imagine that sweet you can be

10.    I love the way you fuss my hair
         Thats how you show me that you care

9.      I love your hand, I love your touch
         And how you make me feel so much

8.      I love your hugs, your sweet kisses
         How that what I always miss

7.     I love how sweet you are to me
        And how adorable you can be

6.     I love the way you call my name
        It sounds different, not the same

5.     I love how you make me feel better
         Each time  we sit together

4.     I love the fact that you don't act fake
        And how you believe in give and take

3.     I love how perverted you are
        How you ask if you're going too far

2.    I love how I can be myself around you
       I can still do the things that I always do

1.    But really what I love most about you...
       Is because you are just you.  =)

I set my heart before you,
For once, see my point-of-view,

We’re not alike in every way,
But I fall for every word you say,

I want to feel your heart to mine,
Then all the world would be so fine,

Just a touch of your hands,
Would lift me off the land,

You made my life seems new,
I love everything about you i knew,

Those days we were apart,
I realized that you are my heart,

I dream of you being my mate,
But this is another game of fate,

I love you for everything you are,
I wouldn’t trade you for a star,

For us to be in love is my desire,
You are something i admire,

For everyday seeing your face,
A miracle, i'm amaze,

I want you to be forever in my sight,
So my life will always be right,

For you i'm just one of your friend,
But I really want that to end,

I want us to be more,
You’re something I long for,

You’ll never know how I truly feel,
Because you never think I’m real,

For you to belong to me,
I don't know, it seems hard to be,

Well I would set myself up for pain,
So only in my dreams these thoughts will remain..

I can't believe how the feel,
Of one shirt tonight,
Can bring back feelings,
That used to feel so right,

Every memory we had,
Is on me now,
I know I have to forget,
Some day, somehow,

The smell of you,
Covering me,
It's all over your shirt,
That is all over me,

And as it covers my body,
Rid me from cold,
Feeling  warm and easy,
Really comfortable,

And it will always stay on me,
Though sometimes it brings hurts,
Cause i love  this feeling of hope,
As long as I'm wearing your shirt,

And maybe its weird,
Writing about a shirt with pleasure,
But this one is my precious one,
My dirty tiny little treasure..

I look at the clock,
it says 1:41,
i know thinking of you,
i'll never be done,

You run through my mind,
and occupy all my time,
wondering why you're gone,
and why you're not mine,

I think of you constantly,
for some reason i can't stop,
knowing that for always,
you'll forever have my heart,

My days go by so slow,
cause you run through my head,
i said I'd love you forever,
isn't that enough said,

You also haunt my dreams,
if you know what i mean,
i wake up often,
with sweats and screams,

Why i am by myself,
I'm all alone in my life,
i know I'll be thinking of you,
this is my biggest strife,

Now still all these thoughts,
just run through my brain,
cant stop thinking,
i think i'm going insane,

Eyes turn red and tears run again,
just don't know what else to do,
then i turn and look at the clock,
and it says it's only 1:42....

Counting four days after three,
And they're still far away form me,
All I am doing is craving this story,
To tell them how i feel sincerely,

They are the sun of my days,
The stars of my nights,
They are one of my craze,
Who always keep me safe,

They keep me from feeling cold,
As they are everything to me,
Angels sent to save my soul
Angels sent to set me free

Days without them are lonely and cold,
Sometimes i wish they could hold,
Hold me till i fall asleep,
That way they know my heart they can keep,
I wake up from my dreams to the world of reality,
Hoping that they are all i will see.

So as each day passes,
I remember who gives me happiness,
On my face they put the biggest smile,
When i hear their voice from thousands miles,
Even though they are far far away,
It still brightens up my day,
And i miss them like crazy,
Then i act like a crybaby,
I just want us to be together again,
Cause this distance turns me insane,

And as i sit and watch time fly,
Just know they are my stars in the sky,
We have this love that others envy,
Cause they are always there for me,
No metter what i need to go through,
I'll keep counting down the days to see all of you..

Love is defined in many ways
More and more each days
But here I am, being ordinary
Let me tell you what love is for me

Something not really can be explain
There aren't enough words actually
It's something that cuts open my vein
While my heart beats faster eternally

It's something i'd never trade
Something hard to find
Something that will never fade
Something always on my mind

Like coffee without sugar
Love can be sometimes bitter
It is not all sugar and spice
It is commitment with a price

It's a price with high cost
An aching heart getting lost
Trying to find the way to forgiveness
To leave the place of pure emptiness

Love also involves sacrifices
Dignity, pride, happiness
Willing to give without any return
Willing to wait, willing to learn

With quite a bit of striving
Or maybe a bit of time
Love is something amazing
No matter how hard to find

Within myself and my feeling
That's where i think love begins
And once i start loving
It's impossible to stop continuing

However it will all be worth it eventually
For what i've got to do
I won't regret a bit, a tiny
No matter what i need to go through

The only thing i'd expect
Is the joy and warmth i'll get
And those days i'll simply felt
Like the luckiest girl on the planet

Because once i look in his eyes
It's deeper than what i can see
I'm not looking at someone else
But simply the other half of me

That is not the end of what love is
For me it has a never ending list
The definition may differ from you and me
But this is love in my reality...

We used to talk everyday,
But now we just have nothing to say,
Miss those days when we talked non-stop,
And now it feels like my heart has dropped.

I wish we could go back how we were,
But today it seems like it's just a blur,
Now our friendship is at stake,
It makes my heart hurt and ache.

I tried so hard not to mention,
Is that my heart can't take this tension,
As our friendship twists and bends,
I'm scared it will come to an end.

Deep inside my heart shouting,
Telling me that I'm worth nothing,
Listening  to your own soul's scream,
God It's worse than a scary dream.

Lock in the room I close the door,
Against the wall laying on the floor,
Pulling out the one last hope,
My eyes starting to make a flood.

In the darkness maybe you can hear,
A shriek drumming into your ear,
Do you know what is that sound?
Do you know what shakes the ground?

It's 'the' me crying out in the darkness
It's 'the' me the one lost and helpless
In many pieces you broke my heart
With your sellfish brand new start

And now are you happy looking back at me?
Can you tell me now you are free?
I lost in a world of fear and fright
Calling out to you in the dead of night

I scream in agony from the pain
As the tears run down like rain
Do you really like what you have done?
Do you feel like you have won?

As the winner now you can take your price,
And leave 'your' friendship silently dies
And the loser me need to stay a little bit longer,
Cause 'my' friendship last till the end of forever...